Before I start any of this, I want you to know something. I’m not selling you a philosophy, I’m not telling you that if you work through everything I’ve written you’ll solve your problems. I’m only telling you my story and what I did to work through it, and I hope, I truly hope, that you can take some of these pieces and add them to your own puzzle.

The hardest part of my journey was finding which direction to face, where to start. 

Every website and every counsellor seemed to start in the middle as they tried to find a root, something to grab hold of and work through to reveal the other pieces because, and let’s face it, we don’t know where the start either. 

But I’ve gone down that route and it didn’t solve a more serious issue, a consistent problem that wasn’t going away — me. I needed to solve me and I wanted to work through my problems so I could become a better man, so I could take control away from my anxiety and anger. 

The pieces I found worked for me, I worked on each everyday until they uncovered another ugly piece I needed to face but the one piece that everything else was built on, and I can’t fucking stress this enough, the one thing that started it all, was personal responsibility and something call The Locus of Control.

It’s not faith, it’s not fluffy bullshit. It’s something you’re very familiar with and you’re going to sit with it, ponder it, and own it when you’re done because it starts with you. It was always us and we’re better than continuing cycles of anger, toxicity, and blame. 

So what did I do to fall deep enough to write this? This is my story.